


Jealous

by TUA (IAMS)



Series: Little!Five [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, Littles and Caretakers, Number Five | The Boy Gets A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, little!five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27972107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAMS/pseuds/TUA
Summary: tumblr ask: If its fine with you, can you write "big" five getting jealous (in an amount you are comfortable with) about the affection that they give "little" five? I feel like big five is just as affection starved as little five, only that he is less honest about it.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Series: Little!Five [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048684
Comments: 12
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

It's not that he's jealous. That would be _ludicrous_.

But...well.

It would just be nice, is all, if Five didn't feel like he had to be in his "little" headspace in order to be more than simply _tolerated_ by his family.

It's something he's noticed lately, how much they dote on Five when he's a “little”, versus how much they try to avoid him otherwise; he hates that it even bothers him, really. He's well aware of how prickly and standoffish he can be, and he does understand the urge to stay away when it can be helped. 

So it’s no wonder Five feels the urge so strongly, to give into his “little” headspace the moment he starts feeling ill-but in the end, the stubborn part of Five wins, and he remains “big”, despite wanting nothing more than to be comforted and taken care of. 

He’s not even sure exactly what it is that’s wrong with him, only that there’s a sharp and increasing pain at the pit of his belly, and his head is _pounding_. It might be a stomach bug going around, he thinks miserably. He heard Vanya talking about a couple of her students missing violin practice the past week because of it. 

He blinks into the kitchen for coffee and maybe a piece of toast to help calm his stomach, and Allison’s already at the counter where he appears. She jumps in surprise. “Jesus Five!” she holds a hand up to her chest. “Wear a bell!” 

Five hums in acknowledgement and shoves past her to retrieve a mug from the cupboards. He has to stretch to reach them-damn his short stature-and it doesn’t help his stomach cramps at all. Five lets out an involuntary noise of discomfort and wraps an arm around his stomach. 

He notices Allison eyeing him curiously from where she’s spreading jam on her toast but she doesn’t say anything, otherwise. 

Luther and Vanya who are sat at the table eating eggs react in much the same manner. It shouldn’t sting, the way they brush off whatever might be wrong with him, but it does. If he were a “little” right now he knows they’d probably be all over him, asking what’s the matter and wondering what they could do to make it all better again. 

He hates that he’s actually jealous of...well, of _himself_. For fucks sake. 

Five sits down in his usual chair and sips at his coffee and flips the morning newspaper, irritated even further when Klaus and Ben join them at the table and Allison asks _them_ if they want any toast since she’s making more anyway-but excludes Five from the query entirely, not even really looking at him. 

A sharp pang against his side makes Five wince and bend inward slightly, crumpling the paper he’s holding at the edges. Again, there are looks drawn from everyone at the table but nobody bothers to ask if he’s alright. It’s as if they’re waiting for something more; something else to happen. 

Five concludes sourly that they’re waiting for him to turn back into a “little”-he’s tempted to. But he doesn’t. If they don’t care about him when he’s “big” he doesn’t know that he wants their affections when he’s “little”...

Later in the day he throws up all the coffee he drank that morning and when he staggers out of the bathroom Diego’s standing out in the corridor, arms folded across his chest. “You really shouldn’t be day drinking-especially not with Klaus in the house,” he berates. “You know he just got sober again.” 

Five wipes his mouth against his sleeve tiredly and mutters a faint, “Fuck off.” as he moves past his brother on shaky legs. 

The moment he gets back into his room Five slams the door behind him and slides down it, wrapping both arms around himself and groaning in pain. He took a few over the counter painkillers earlier and even something for his stomach, but so far nothing has helped and the ache has only worsened with time. 

There’s a knock at his door. “What?” he calls out, not moving to get up. His legs feel like jello. 

“We were wondering if maybe you wanted to go pick out a Christmas tree with us?” Vanya asks. 

Five sits up, surprised; they want _him_ to come along? 

“I figured you could go into your headspace and pick out some fun ornaments.” she continues, voice hopeful. 

Oh. Of course they don’t want _him_. They want “little” Five to tag along and awe at the lights and decorations and-Five sighs. “Uh yeah, sure. Just um, just give me a minute. I’ll meet you guys downstairs.” 

“Great! I’ll let everyone know.” 

Five listens to her footsteps as she walks away and once he can’t hear them anymore he lets out a strangled little sob. God, this is so stupid, he thinks, wiping away the tears that come. He needs to get it together. He pushes back the urge to cry some more and throws it on the backburner for later (probably never). 

He makes sure to get dressed first, before going into his headspace- “little” Five is awful at getting dressed by himself, his fingers can’t figure out the buttons on his shirts or the laces on his shoes. 

It takes a minute to actually let himself be “little” after he’s ready. It always takes Five a minute to just let go. 

By the time he blinks downstairs everyone else is ready to go, too, dressed in their coats and scarves and winter boots. “Hey honey, what’s wrong?” Allison leans down to greet him, her face full of concern. “You look upset.” 

Five takes a step back, away from her, shoulders hunched. “It’s not-I couldn’t do it.” he clears his throat. “Still just _me_ ,” he makes a vague gesture. “I’ll just stay home, maybe when I see the tree you guys bring back or whatever it’ll be easier to go into my headspace.” he shrugs. 

“Oh.” Allison takes a step back too, straightening up. “Well, I mean, Five, you can still come tree shopping with us.” 

Five shakes his head. “It’s fine. I didn’t feel like going anyway.” he lies. 

Luther gives him a look. “If you’re sure...” 

Five watches them leave with an ache, like longing, tugging at his heart. It’s fine. He’s fine. 


	2. Chapter 2

Five is _not_ moping. 

Or at least that’s what he tells himself. 

By the time his brothers and sisters return the cramping in his belly has gotten harder to ignore-he’s in the living room watching some god awful show called House Hunters and eating saltine crackers to try and settle his stomach. 

“Oh damn, you watch this crap too?” Diego snickers, “Move aside, this episode’s hilarious.” he dumps a bag of decorations on the floor and makes himself comfortable on the couch next to Five. 

The rest of the Hargreeves siblings walk in behind Luther, who’s hauling in a ridiculously massive tree-it’s gotta be at least twelve feet tall. 

“You guys got a _real_ tree?” Five blinks up at it in surprise. He thought they’d go to Walmart or some other conglomerate for a plastic tree they could easily pack away for next year. “I’m not going to be stuck watering this thing.” he says, even as he knows that’s exactly what’ll end up happening. He and Luther will probably be the only two watering the giant thing and keeping it green until Christmas day. 

“Don’t be such a grumpy old man,” Klaus waves his concerns away, “I’m gonna put on some Mariah Carey and we can all start decorating this sumbitch.” 

“I want to decorate the outside, too.” Allison is carrying about a dozen bags stuffed to the brim with what Five thinks are lights. “Oh, and we also got these cute glowing deer to put in the courtyard!” 

Five watches Ben help Luther place the tree in an upright position and adjust it so that it’s not crooked; it stands tall and proud in the corner of their living room. “Let’s start with the lights.” Vanya starts taking out rolls of multicolored lights out from various shopping bags. 

Diego nudges Five, “Enough TV, c’mon, let’s help decorate.” 

Five finds that he actually does want to participate, but his side suddenly feels like it’s on _fire_. “I’m good.” he tries to readjust his position on the couch to alleviate some of the pain, to no avail. 

Diego pauses. “Dude, seriously?” he shakes his head. “You’ve been such a grinch lately, what the hell’s your problem? Why don’t you just switch to being ‘little’ already and actually _enjoy_ spending some time with us?” 

“Diego!” Allison scolds, her brows knitted together. 

Diego shrugs. “What? It’s true. ‘Little’ Five would love decorating with the rest of us, instead of just sitting there and acting like he’s too good-” 

“Five?” Luther interrupts Diegos rant, his tone of concern making the others turn their attention to Five as well. 

He’s about two seconds away from crying and it must show on his face because his siblings crowd him, as if expecting him to turn “little” any moment now. 

Five tries like hell to swallow down all of the horrible emotion he can feel bubbling right beneath the surface, but it doesn’t do him any good, because when he speaks in an attempt to assure everyone that nothing is wrong, his voice cracks and he chokes on the words, unable to let anything out other than a broken sob. 

It’s pathetic and _humiliating_ and Five hates himself for it. 

“ _Fuck_.” he covers his face with both hands in an attempt to stifle another sob. He should just teleport and disappear from their sights completely-save himself any further embarrassment-but he stays put. 

A small hand touches his shoulder and he goes stiff, face still buried in his palms. Vanya squeezes gently and sits down next to Five. “Hey, we’re right here, you can talk to us, you know that, right?” she leans forward and rests her forehead against the side of his head. “You’ve been acting off all day. What’s going on?” 

Five draws his knees up on the couch to his chest and huddles into himself. He mutters something quickly and under his breath, so that no one quite catches the words that come out of his mouth. 

Vanya nudges him just a tiny bit. 

“I-” Five finally looks up, face miserable, his nose red from holding back tears. “I just wish you guys liked me _normally_...the way you like me when I’m little...” he admits softly, feeling ridiculous. “It’s stupid, I don’t know why it even matters-” 

“Five, is that _really_ what you think?” Allison crouches down in front of him, distraught. 

Five swipes surreptitiously at his face and looks away, shrugging. “What am I supposed to think? You guys only pay attention to me when I’m in my headspace-otherwise it’s like I don’t exist.” 

Diego scratches the back of his head guiltily. “I mean, I only said all that shit because I thought you only liked _us_ when you’re a little. It’s the only time you ever wanna seem to be around us. The minute you switch back you pull away again. What the hell are _we_ supposed to think?” 

Five stares at him in surprise. “I thought-” he pauses, pressing his lips into a thin line. “It’s hard,” he clears his throat. “To be...as vulnerable, when I’m not in my headspa-” A shooting cramp has Five bowing over in pain before he can finish the thought. He wraps both arms around his stomach and curses. 

“Five, woah, hey, what’s wrong?” Luther asks, alarmed. “I _told_ you guys something was wrong earlier.” 

Vanya rubs his back soothingly. “Maybe it’s a stomach bug?” she suggests, though it’s clear she doesn’t really buy it herself. 

“Shit,” Diego frowns. “He was throwing up earlier-I didn’t think he was sick, though.” 

Five groans. “Hurts.” he grits his teeth and waits for the wave of agony to pass but unlike the previous times today, it doesn’t, persisting until he’s gasping in agony. “Shit.” 

“Five!” he hears someone cry out his name but it sounds so far away. 

************

“I knew something was wrong,” Allison sighs. “I was waiting for you to open up and tell us _what_ was wrong but I should have known that it would take your appendix literally _bursting_ -” she runs her fingers through his hair and sighs again. “Jesus, Five.” 

Five leans into the touch, surprised that she’s being so gentle when he’s not in his “little” headspace. “Sorry.” he mutters, tired from surgery. They’d taken him to Grace the second he’d lost consciousness and she’d deduced correctly that he had appendicitis, but unfortunately, they’d caught it too late.

Thankfully Grace is a good enough surgeon that there’s a lesser chance of Five getting an infection post surgery, so long as he’s monitored strictly and on forced bed rest for the next few days. 

Allison shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry too, I should have said something when I noticed this morning. I thought if I pointed it out you’d only retreat further, so I pretended not to notice. Hell, we all did.” she stares at him intently and says, “You know it’s not true, right?” 

Five hums questioningly. 

“That we only care about you when you’re in your headspace?” Allison frowns. “That’s not true, Five. You’re our _brother_. We love you, whether ‘little’ or ‘big’.”

Diego huffs, leaning against the side of his gurney. “You’re an asshole so I’m not gonna lie, I was surprised to find you actually give a shit if we like you or not-I might not show it all the damn time but I care about you, you little jerk.” 

Ben rolls his eyes at the blunt way Diego phrases his feelings. “You scared the crap out of us.” he squeezes Fives shoulder. “Here, take a couple of these.” He holds a plastic cup up to Fives lips and lets him have some ice chips. 

Five sighs in relief-he hadn’t realized how parched his throat was until now. “Thanks.” 

Grace walks into the room then, and checks that his vitals are stable. “Five needs to rest if he wants to make a full and speedy recovery.” 

Vanya hesitates. She doesn’t want to leave him alone, even if she knows it’s probably easier to get rest without all six of his siblings making noise in the infirmary. “Mom’s right,” she presses her lips together. “Five’s probably tired.” 

The others look just as reluctant to leave. Klaus pouts. “But I wanna stay. I’ll be real quiet, promise.” 

Ben raises a brow. “You’ve never been quiet a day in your life.” 

Klaus hisses at him in response. 

Luther looks between the two bickering brothers and then over at Five in concern. “Maybe we _should_ clear the room, I doubt Five’ll get any sleep this way-” 

Before Five can stop himself he blurts out, “You guys can stay.” a tinge of desperation in his voice he’ll later want to kick himself for. But right now he couldn’t be bothered to give a damn. He just doesn’t want to be left alone. 

“Great!” Klaus claps his hands together. “’Cause I wasn’t going anywhere anyway.” he grins, winking at Five. “Ooh, you know what’d be fun? Uno!” 

Ben sighs, “You literally _just_ said you were gonna’ be quiet so Five could rest.” 

“I’m gonna grab my Uno deck.” Diego exclaims, already getting up to go search the house for the cards. 

Vanya takes Diegos spot next to Fives bed. “You know, you don’t have to play if you don’t wanna’.” she assures him, seeing how exhausted he looks, pale against white sheets. “You can go to sleep, we’ll still be here when you wake up.” 

Five shakes his head. “M’ok. Wanna play.” he mumbles groggily, even as his eyelids grow heavier and heavier as the seconds tick past. 

By the time Diego comes back with Uno Five is sound asleep, his head on Allisons lap, one hand clasped loosely around Bens, snoring softly. 

Diego smiles lopsidedly at the sight, tucking the deck into his back pocket. Maybe later, when he wakes up again, they can all play. Hell, he might even be able to convince them to play a game of monopoly-with Five drowsy on painkillers he’d finally have a chance at winning for once. 

Later, when Five is conscious and a little more aware, Diego _does_ manage to get the Hargreeves to play monopoly-Five, doped up and bedridden, still wipes the floor with all of them. 


End file.
